


of pretzels and mario's constant hunger

by finkzydrate



Category: Football RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: Crack, M/M, crack and smut actually, idk this is absolutely ridiculous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-01
Updated: 2013-11-01
Packaged: 2017-12-31 04:04:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1027028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/finkzydrate/pseuds/finkzydrate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mario wants to spice up his and Marco's sex life, but things don't work out quite like he imagined them to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	of pretzels and mario's constant hunger

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this because of a conversation i had with a friend and lol i have no idea what i'm doing with my life. this is horrible, i'm sorry, i might actually end up deleting it or something idk. lame attempts at being funny.
> 
> edit: this work has been translated in Russian by the great Natoonai so go check it out right [here](http://ficbook.net/readfic/1785667) if you're interested!

"I think we should try something new," Mario states boldly, breaking off the lip lock in which he and Marco were previously in.

"New? Like what?" Marco is a bit confused, most of his blood is going to his dick right now, instead of to his brain.

"Well like in bed..." Mario trails off, hoping that his boyfriend wouldn't turn him down when he explains to him what he means with details.

"Spill the beans already, Sunny, I'm not a mind reader," the blond nudges him softly until Mario is situated next to him on the bed instead of on his chest. Mario gets more comfortable, he's facing Marco but looking at his bare chest like it's the most fascinating thing in this very moment.

"I was thinking of..." he finally gets the nerve to look the older one in the eye. Marco nods going for reassuring, trails his palm down Mario's arm, leaving a trail of goose bumps in its wake, but his gentle actions don't work like they should. Mario frowns and bites his lip.

"You know you can tell me, baby. Is it bondage? Did you read these God awful books '5o Shades of whatever', is that it?" Marco tries to guess but Mario looks at him outraged.

"No, of course not, these are for girls. I was thinking about maybe possibly bringing food in bed?" Mario ends his sentence with a question, ready to be denied, but Marco's only reaction is to snort. "Hey, don't laugh!"

"No, baby, I'm not laughing at you! I was just surprised that all you wanted was food, I was ready for you to ask to pull out the whips and chains Rihanna style or something," Marco is giggling like a girl, like he told the most hilarious joke ever and a small smile breaks on Mario's lips too.

"So is that a yes?"

"Of course it is, Sunny. As long as no whips and chains are involved, I'm in, mark my word," he says, still smiling and leans in for a kiss, but Mario breaks it after just a moment.

"I'm going to go rummage through the kitchen, see if I can find anything, you stay here and don't," he emphasizes the don't with a stern look at his boyfriend, "start without me."

Mario gets up from the bed and hurries towards the kitchen, leaving the bedroom door ajar in his haste to get to the kitchen.

 

_10 minutes later_

 

Marco is still lying on the bed, playing Candy Crush Saga on his iPhone, bored already because of Mario's absence and doing his best not to "start without Mario" as his boyfriend put it. He's stuck on his level, though, so he's getting frustrated. He gets to the point where he runs out of lives and throws his phone annoyed on the bed but before that he checks the clock to see how long Mario has been taking. 

Just as he's about to get up go see why the brunet isn't coming back, he hears soft rustling and steps coming towards the bedroom. Marco's sitting on the edge of the bed, ready to leap if Mario so as mentions that something is wrong.

Mario walks in the room holding a little bag in his hand.

"I literally searched the entire kitchen but I only found this," he says before Marco could even ask him and waves the pack for Marco to see.

It's a bag of _pretzels_.

Marco's eyes widen when he realizes that. "Pretzels? Really, was that the only thing you had left in the kitchen?"

"Yeah, I guess I haven't gone grocery shopping in a while," Mario bites his lip, but throws the pretzels on the nightstand and Marco follows the movement with his eyes.

"But what are we supposed to do with them?" He asks confused while Mario climbs back on the bed, straddling him and puts his palms on the blond's face to turn it so that their eyes could meet.

"We're going to figure it out in a bit," he answers, voice low and automatically going to a more seductive tone that he knows will easily get to Marco.

They kiss for some time and Mario uses every trick he knows that works on Marco, trying to get him horny as fast as he can. He licks and bites his way inside the blond's mouth, trails his tongue over his bottom, then his upper lip, sucks on his tongue until Marco slips his palms in Mario's boxers and pulls him closer, blunt nails leaving crescendo marks on the brunet's ass.

"Mmm, okay, lie down," Mario moans out and pushes Marco on his back on the bed. The blond spreads his legs just enough to accommodate Mario better in between them. The blond thinks Mario would start teasing him or at least take off his underwear, but he's wrong. Mario reaches out and opens the pretzels which make a loud noise in the otherwise quiet room. Marco winces. Some pretzels fall from the pack down on Marco's chest and slip on the bed. Mario gulps. 

"So, what now? Do I roll seductively in the pretzels or what do you have in mind?" The blond asks skeptically and Mario smiles.

"No, just stay still for a second, I have an idea," he brunet hushes Marco and reaches for some of the fallen pretzels, takes them in his palm and starts putting them on the blond's chest. He puts one over his left nipple, then his right, then starts making a path to Marco's belly button and stops at his crotch. Marco is looking at him curiously, wondering when Mario will pay at least some attention to his dick. The brunet neglects it once again, though, instead lunges for his left nipple. He takes the little pretzel in his mouth and then starts nibbling on it while looking at Marco and trying to somehow lick at his nipple at the same time.

"OW, MARIO, DID YOU JUST BITE ME?" Marco jolts upright and the pretzels fall off him again. 

"I'm sorry," Mario mumbles, still chewing on his food. 

"This is not working, Sunny, sorry," Marco looks at Mario apologetically and caresses his face gently.

"No, no, let's try again, I'll be more careful, I promise."

"Okay, but keep it up the waist, I don't want you to accidentally bite my dick off while eating pretzels," the blond sighs and lies down once more. He's not even hard anymore, he's just going with it because he wants to humor Mario and his fantasies.

Mario puts the pretzels again on Marco's belly and starts eating them one by now, very carefully this time. The blond can see crumbs piling up on his stomach and he knows that if it wasn't Mario, he'd be completely grossed out, but he's just sitting there and not minding this one bit. 

When Mario's done with eating the pretzels he _hmms_ happily and puts his hand on Marco's dick.

"Oh, you're not hard," Marco can hear the confusion and the hurt mixed in his voice. This is the first time such thing has happened. "Did I do anything wrong?"

"No, no, you know it's not you, baby. This is just your fantasy, not mine. And maybe it would've worked better if we had, for example, strawberries and cream instead of pretzels," Marco laughs and pulls Mario up until they're face-to-face and kisses him on the lips. Mario grinds his dick on the blond's thigh, begging for attention and Marco obliges, letting his hands roam down his boyfriend's sides until they reach the waistband of Mario's boxers. He pushes them down with one hand while maneuvering Mario off his chest and getting him to lie on his back. Marco spreads the brunet's legs, wraps his hand around his dick and starts jerking him off slowly. The younger one's eyes flutter closed and he sighs, his lips falling open. Marco can smell the pretzels on Mario's breath and he has to stifle a chuckle because he guesses it would be rude to laugh at someone while trying to get them off.

It doesn't take long for Mario to moan out Marco's name, eyes flying open and body jerking into Marco's, coming in the blond's hand and between their bellies. Marco lies next to him on the bed, looking at the brunet trying to catch his breath and smiling. 

"So that wasn't completely horrible, right?" Mario's nose is wrinkled with worry, but a bit of hope too, when he meets Marco's gaze.

"Nah, it could always be worse," the blond shrugs, still smiling and tangles his fingers with Mario's. "But you were just hungry and horny at the same time, weren't you?"

Mario blushes. "Maybe."

"Well, next time I'm feeding you and then taking you to bed, how does that sound?" 

"Sounds amazing," Mario grins and closes his eyes snuggling closer to Marco.


End file.
